Caterwauling

Bought a table top tree. 

Bought some really nice lights. 

Put those lights on today. 

Tree looked great. 

Went to cut off sticky tag on the wire of the lights. 

Accidentally cut the fucking wire clean through.

WTG, Goddess. 

Ok. So, I found out today that a lot of my neighbors are really nice. 

Not jackass upstairs, who went apeshit at 1:30 am and again at 8:42 am. But mom and I took a walk tonight and people were wishing us a happy thanksgiving out their car windows. And several people stopped to talk. 

They must be new here. Or moved by the spirit. But either way, I like it here. And that means the giant meteor is circling. 

I am also going to Key West next week. It was six years ago I booked a December trip there and got shitcanned. I’ve already canceled two trips there this year and have that same terror of having history repeating itself. 

I got to talking with one of my favorite people in my field. Exchanging ideas and really dreaming big. Both of us really jazzed and energized afterward. And I felt like I’ll be ok.  

Not sure what ok looks like. But if there’s one thing I know, it’s that being ok is a foregone conclusion when it comes to me. Even if I have to list myself as Mexican to get my ass deported there, so be it. 

Well between Nazis invading my beloved Friendship Heights Maggiano’s and my Hillary app bidding me a sad farewell, I’m ready to jump. 

But hey. The patriarchy is intact. Incompetent as ever. But, you know. “Change.” Go with that. 

In any event. I was looking forward to getting a better rate on my student loans thanks to Hillary. I also wanted to go back to school. 

Not only did America shit on that, but my stocks are down too. 

I’m not ready to make nice. But if the world burns like it already appears to be, would it really be a loss?

I took a small break from reading Obama/Biden memes (the only thing I haven’t blocked before books get banned and intelligent thought gets laid to rest) to see something interesting on that social platform thing. 

Recently, a friend proclaimed she finally got a man. Her life’s dream. Waited 43 years for this blessed event. 

She finally posted a photo, too. Took her long enough. 

So, yeah. I see she’s doing that over-40/settling thing I tried not too long ago. 

Just what I don’t want. Dopey man and dopey kids. All about sports. I don’t see an ex which means there’s no hope of offloading the little cherubs for goddess time. 

It’s times like this when I regret feeling like having mom cramped my style and that I missed my window of opportunity to get a good man. I don’t have to deal with some dope. Never did. Never will. 

She’s so goddamned gorgeous. She can do so much better than this. 

I hope, by the time I’m ready, I still can too. 

From Quartz:

“Donald Trump’s election victory has not only terrified liberals, minorities, and much of the planet, but has shaken some people’s faith in democracy itself. That this bigoted, lying, self-contradicting, autocratic, anti-science, tantrum-throwing man-child could become the world’s most powerful leader surely shows the very system for choosing leaders is fatally flawed. That far-right parties, emboldened, may now win several upcoming European elections surely shows voters cannot be trusted. Perhaps democracy has become too democratic. Perhaps we need epistocracy, where only the most knowledgeable can vote.”

Now that’s not what the publication is endorsing and in fact says that’s not the answer. 

What I’m focused on is that, as Dave Chappelle astutely pointed out on SNL last night, we elected an internet troll as our leader. 

And before I see any more conservative butthurt over a pretty fair monologue overall, Dave is giving the angry Yam (my words, because who knows yams better than I do) a chance. 

I’m trying not to lose my religion that the popular vote is now half a million names higher in Hillary’s favor. The Electoral College was meant to keep us hysterical women and dark-skinned folk from having too much of a say  

Hell, even Trump had spoken against the electoral college. I think it is the one thing we agree on. Well, he disliked it till he won through it. Typical politician. 

Oddly, the bulk of my fear doesn’t lie with him. 

I mean, sure, he’s just another big CEO with big promises who will end up being mostly ineffective and the business of America Inc. will survive despite itself. 

But the system is rigged — there I agree with him too — just not in the same way he believes. 

The system will get him impeached or indicted by the party that never wanted him. We will get a President Homophobe and THAT is what knocks my knickers to the floor. That dead-behind-the-eyes Pence is our Dick Cheney. 

I do hand it to Bush the Second, though. In hindsight, I think he was a solid leader. It took me too many years to see that. I figured he would wage a war on women. He didn’t. He did a lot of good things. And that mofo was so so smart. He played it down. Underpromised and overdelivered. 

In any event, I feared Cheney like I fear Pence. But  I never feared my fellow Americans then like I do now. I’m still wearing my Hillary shirt and mom says I’m gonna get us killed with that and my “love trumps hate” bumper sticker. 

Look. I have a friend who is a proud deplorable. And she doesn’t realize all the racist shit she has said over the years. I fear her. With her gun ready to fire and ethnic joke ready for the right audience. Isn’t contributing to the economy in a noticeable way and doesn’t care to. 

And I’m not saying my over-informed vote counts more. But I admit my liberal smugness motivates me to vote for the greater good more than my personal betterment. (I hate Obamacare too but it helps a lot of people, even if not my people.)

Maybe this is my lesson. Help yourself first. Everybody else is. Nobody voted with my well-being in mind. 

I got too comfortable with the nice black man in office and the idea of the pretty white lady taking over. 

I got lazy thinking things were great. They aren’t. They weren’t. They may never be. 

I want to be out there protesting. I am thankful you can do that in this America. Even if people you don’t care about tell you to stop your tantrums. 

Hey if a vocal minority can get Starbucks to re-issue its holiday cups because their message of unity is too divisive, why can’t a majority of voters take to the streets to ask for their voices to be heard too?

Also from Quartz:

There is now much soul-searching to be done for those who believe in keeping up the case for liberal values and open borders. But the answer is not to alter the nature of democracy. When democracy has picked an autocrat, it’s already too late.

I read a story before the election about an elderly woman who early-voted for Hillary and died happy the next day. 

She’s the lucky one. 

The arrow going backward is ironic …

Hurricane Matthew was thankfully a non-event here. Which was shocking, really …

The TV network coverage has been nonstop. The governor took every opportunity to tell us we would die if we didn’t evacuate. 

It’s clear and cool and almost even sunny today. Daytona wasn’t so fortunate. 

Matthew is set to make a U-turn after it visits the Carolinas. He might even clash with Nicole out at sea. 

The weekend forecast is lovely here in the Palm Beaches. But next week is thunderstorm central. 

I wish we were off next week too, but I’m happy the top management at my work was kind/wise to let us have these days to prepare, to deal with our fear and to be with our families. 

I love the top guys (and the middle guy who was kind and helpful to me) that much more today, as I am utterly exhausted from worry. 

And a wee bit hungover too…

I wore one of my favorite outfits, drank my best beer and cracked open a really good bottle of wine to pass the time. 

Now what to do with all the snacks I didn’t manage to devour before the hurricane? (And I demolished a fair amount.)

Open a Wawa, I guess. Or polish off the ice cream, quinoa tortilla chips and pumpkin salsa for breakfast. 

Yes, that’ll do, pig. That’ll do.

Thank you, God and many northern friends who prayed for us, for this gloriously calm day. 

Well. Another trip to cancel.  

I hate moving. 

Was hoping for more time. 

Hope for no penalties since this ain’t the first time I took a hotel on faith that I’d be there on that day. 

Thanks, Facebook Memories. I get something like this once a week. 

Miss you, Sia. So, so much.