Caterwauling

Penis Pancake

Originally uploaded by dcwriterdawn

So, I went to see “Something Borrowed” yesterday. Save your money.

Spoiler alert:

As I prepare to turn 36 for the second time (next week! Gaaaahhh), Mother Nature’s gift to me is a hefty dose of “Get offa my lawn,” apparently.

Look, I loved the movie. But I feel dirty and icky just for SAYING that.

It hit close to home, as all the best movies do.

It’s all about two BFFs; one shines and the other busts her butt to get where she is. I was never the prettier of any two sets of friends. Or, if I was, I was always the fatter. And that, by default, makes you the less-attractive one. Even if you don’t believe it yourself (because, let’s face it, you know you have “such a pretty face”), that’s how society treats you.

Confidential to society: “Fuck. You.”

The storyline is simple: Girl wants boy. Boy wants girl. Radiant friend appears. Girl feels like nothing in her presence. Boy goes after radiant friend. Years of pining ensue. Girl becomes radiant friend’s maid of honor at wedding to boy. Hilarity ensues.

I mean, how romantic for old college friends with crushes on each other to still be hot for each other. Lord knows a few of the guys from my college days are still in my life. It would be a cute story if it worked out. But a cute story is unnecessary when building a future.

And so, the part that makes me mad is nothing shy of my own hypocrisy.

The girls should have maintained their friendship and gotten rid of the boy. The end.

But a quick index of my own life shows that I pretty much tossed all female friendships to the wind and dated slept with whomever I damn well pleased.

I miss my friends, by the way.

I always subscribed to the theory that if those lovely couples didn’t work out, the men were fair game. Because when your friends are in relationships, you are right in it with them.

Whether you’re hearing one side talk about the other (and for me, I was always close with both sides), or whether they’re including you as “not a third wheel at ALL,” you are the unnamed entity in a supposed two-person union.

This is why girls drop their friends when they date someone — it’s so much easier to focus on one person without having other people there to witness every move and/or misstep.

So, yeah, I realize I’m an idiot that I wanted the movie to end any way other than the way it did. Everyone ended up happy, which pisses me off in general, because that NEVER happens. 🙂 But all the cheating, lying whores ended up with the person they wanted. And poor little Ethan moved to London and ended up alone.

Ethan = John Krasinski. I would have totally gone for him, by the bye. 😉

Anyhoodle, I was looking for a love story, and I guess I got one. I would just hate to be the girl who got the guy by stealing him nearly off the altar from my BFF. That “cute story” turns pretty foul pretty quickly when you toss in THAT little fact nugget.

I guess I get mad because I want so badly to write books and love stories with the characters who have lived in my head for decades. And I’d really like to write my OWN fairy tale one of these days, only for real. I know there’s no perfect story — it’s always messy and crazy and sometimes painful — but I need the hope that the concept of “meant to be” supersedes all.

But I don’t think you should have to lose anything/anyone in the process … especially those who would be there if your shining knight falls off the horse and your fairy tale ends up as more of a short story than a book.

This entry was posted on Sunday, May 15th, 2011 at 11:49 AM and is filed under Existential Meanderings. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.