Don’t look!
I’m going to start randomly posting “ancient” entries from 2001, when I get the inclination to do so. I have created several links that are presently inactive. These are not necessarily for the public’s consumption — I’ve done a lot of dumb shit that I am simply not proud of. However, this blog is for me, and I’ve been holding off on making a lot of things public because, well, they hurt to revisit, especially in print. I’ve noticed that I am attracting a lot more visitors than usual, including many of the people to whom I make reference.
I’ve thought long and hard about exposing my past — granted, I’ve not done anything that will get me sent to prison, but I’ve said and done some things that, when put in writing, just seem that much more hideous, especially when the “wrong” people learn about them. But those were my mistakes, my experiences, my thoughts and feelings that were at stake. And they are mine to either conceal or broadcast, too, because everything comes from my point of view. My diaries are nothing like Anais Nin’s, and it may piss off a lot of people, but I’ve decided that I want this online record of my life.
The challenge, though, will be as I am dating and perhaps even meeting the significant other(s) with whom I will spend the rest of my life. There is a certain comfort in having those people NOT know my past … I love having mystery in my relationships. But that is a chance I am going to take, of having people read my innermost thoughts and giving them the choice whether to abandon ship or jump on and sail the mighty seas at my side. I don’t encourage anyone to read the previous entries, but now they’re out there, and all I can do is sink or swim. And come hell or high water, I’m going to doggie paddle. 🙂