Dumb Bitch Award of the Day
There’s this ghetto chick who works as a telemarketer here who sent this loving e-mail last hour:
Stolen Soda:
“Whoever took the Pepsi out of the vending machine not more than five minutes ago please return it to me or reimburse my 50 cents.”
First of all, we don’t have Pepsi in the machine. Secondly, how fucking dumb do you have to be to put the money in the machine, hit the button and walk away? She’s acting like she left a wad of cash in there. Idiot. The can was probably lodged under her fat, lazy ass. And for the record, if you saw a nice cold can of carbonated, syrupy sweetness, wouldn’t YOU take it? Especially if it were sitting right there, with no one claiming it? My buddy down the hall suggested that we take up a collection for her and go buy her a case of Pepsi, to avoid further annoying all-staff e-mails.
Ah, but wait, there’s more:
Soda Recovered:
“The Pepsi has been recovered…”
What’s up with the points of ellipsis? Is there to be a third e-mail either telling us who “stole” it or apologizing for wasting our time? I’m just breathlessly anticipating the resolution to this nonsense. 😉