Fuck. Yeah.
There are things I just assumed were never meant for me, with a wedding being one. I don’t know whether I just assumed I didn’t have time for all that love business or that I’m just not bride material, but it never crossed my mind that I’d love (and want) the experience.
Says she who spent four years planning black-tie cotillions and can throw a fabulous party on any kind of budget.
I guess I figured I’d always be a working girl. I’d always have a kickass job, always be leading companies and hopping on airplanes to secure unprecedented partnership deals. I never thought I’d be stuck in the house for a year (of my own choosing, I know) and missing out on opportunities.
I think I’ve become one of those girls who wouldn’t mind being a, well, not a housewife. But the lady of the house.
And what bugs me about the last year is that I didn’t have any leisure time. I rarely went to the beach. I saw friends intermittently and caught a few movies and festivals. But I might as well have been a cubicle slave, for as little as I got to go enjoy the day somewhere else.
I say all of this to share this: I’m getting “married”!
Yes, the prince on bended knee finally put a ring on it. Our happily ever after begins Monday.
FUCK. YEAH.
You just never know if anything is the right decision. But I’m happy with the way things have turned out. And sure, I worry that they will turn out like the last time. But that’s a chance I have to take.
And in all of this, maybe it was attending a lovely wedding but maybe it’s being 37 too, I’d like to open myself up to the possibilities on that front. Work isn’t everything. I’ve been divorced from it for almost a year, and frankly I’d like to just date it for a while.
It will be good to get out of the house and have a reason to, if not exercise, then at least NOT consume fudge-covered peanut butter Oreos like the world is ending.
I mean, I’ll never be at my ideal weight. No one will ever look at me and say, “Mangia!” Unless they’re Italian of course, because everybody’s too skinny to them. 😉 (And I took Mom out to a celebratory Italian dinner last night — mmmmm, puttanesca.) But I felt like I needed a reason to take care of myself again, and if it’s having a job, then so be it.
Till then, I’m buried in freelance work, and my freelance employers want to keep me on in some way, which is nice. I like money. 🙂 But eventually I’d like to replace all the work with someone who can distract me from it. Let’s get us a REAL prince next time around!