Caterwauling

Yellow Brick Road

Originally uploaded by dcwriterdawn

Well, I asked God for a sign about my life, as I took a shortcut to Costco, and here’s what I saw. Follow the Yellow Brick Road, indeed.

I have had a very, VERY stressful few weeks. And today, I let that stress go. I wasn’t sleeping or eating or doing anything other than mainlining coffee and smoking.

Today I ate. (My mommy is the best cook, yo.) Today I also let go of something that promised to be great but isn’t a good fit for me right now, for reasons I will explain in a blog post in about a year from now. 😉

I took a big leap of faith. And I fell flat. And it’s ugly. But, I promised mom we will be OK. Because I haven’t been anywhere near strong or functional for her, and she needs the “good” me right now. I’ve been unable to give her that for too long, and now that I WANT to be good for/to her, I can’t do it the way things are now.

I have a list of “What’s Important” taped on the wall next to my computer. It’s seven simple goals that, if I am not working toward any of them at any given time, then I need to change my direction. The end.

Well, since those seven things are all sitting there, staring at me quizzically every single day, it’s time to stop averting my eyes.

I don’t know where my Yellow Brick Road is, let alone where it will lead. But now I’m inspired to go find it … and after a small healing period I’m allowing myself, I’m going to go hunting for it.

This entry was posted on Tuesday, October 4th, 2011 at 2:35 PM and is filed under Existential Meanderings. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.