Caterwauling

Honky Tonk Heroes

Originally uploaded by dcwriterdawn

I just so happened to have a free movie ticket that expires Friday, so I went to see “Country Strong” today.

I’m SO moving to Nashville!

The movie was shot there, and when Lady L and I were there back in November (we went to the Grand Ole Opry. *swoon*), she said she’d never seen me so at-home.

And while I couldn’t survive in a land-locked state, I am definitely a fan of taking an extended vacation in the birthplace of bluegrass.

Anyway, the movie. Love and swoon. I was never Team Gwyneth, but I daresay she’s a better singer than actress. Perhaps marrying a musician was a good thing for her. I haven’t been able to stand Coldplay since “Yellow” was Beaten. To. Death. on mainstream radio. But clearly it’s benefiting her career, so good for her.

Since my own chances of marrying a musician and becoming a country singer are zero, I’m happy just being a Honky-Tonk Woman with a guitar that I can’t begin to figure out how to play. 🙂

My takeaway from the movie wasn’t anything the characters said or did. It’s the fact that I could have written that movie. OK, not that PARTICULAR one. But Lord, I have so many stories and chapters and wannabe screenplays sitting in boxes in my living room. That damn song “Give in to Me” is just a remix of a song I wrote when I was 16 called “Come to Me.”

It irks the fuck out of me that I’ve been busting my ass in the workforce since age 16 when all I had to do was sell a stupid song to a stupid studio to end up in a stupid movie and it would make me stupid-rich. 🙂

I don’t fully believe that you can follow your dreams. I think you can chase them, sure. But if you find me someone who does what they absolutely love, you’ll also be showing me someone who probably had to give up something like money or relationships or rearing a child. And while I don’t want to sell my soul for money, well, the landlady doesn’t give a shit that I’m quite happy scribbling in a sketchbook.

I guess I just wish I could sell one of my book ideas (and, oh, write the damn thing) and buy myself some more time to coast … to only take on project work … to go on tour to promote my book and see various cities and countries … and get inspired to write the next one. You know, whenever the mood hits.

I had one of those soul-selling interviews yesterday. One where I’d rather pull off my toenails with a set of pliers than say yes to that deal with the devil. And it pains me to think that it *has* to be that way, where I am mentally writing the resignation letter before the thank-you card for the conversation!

Of course, I had a better conversation with someone else today and I am feeling much better about the universe. But yeah, I took a risk and decided I didn’t want to be boxed into a cookie-cutter role. And said so. In no uncertain terms. And I would do the Snoopy dance if they end up taking me seriously.

Because while no role is perfect straight out of the box, why can’t I craft my perfect job? How do you expect anyone to think outside the proverbial box if you try to stuff them into one before they’re even on the payroll?

I’m actually kind of excited about the possibilities. It sure beats panicking, I guess. And maybe, just maybe, I can spend a little less time spinning my wheels and instead go from zero to 60 in point-five seconds like I’m more-than-capable of doing if I’m not falling in a pothole before I drive out of the lot for the very first time.

Failing that, I’ll head to Nashville and try to peddle my songs to washed-up artists and help them to stage their comeback. Maybe it will lead to mine. …

This entry was posted on Wednesday, January 12th, 2011 at 7:41 PM and is filed under Existential Meanderings. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.