Where’s the ‘hangover helper’?
Check-out time from the hotel was at 11 a.m. today. I passed out hard when I got home from the prom somewhere in the wee hours. I was fully awake at 7:45 a.m. But I didn’t move till, oh, 10:20 a.m. At which time I did the fastest butt-scrubbing in the history of butt-scrubbing.
Forty minutes later, I was settled into another hotel. I’ve been wandering around the Inner Harbor. Got a lovely spicy mocha from Caribou, too. I miss cities — being on foot, even in this ridiculous cold, is welcome exercise.
Last night really was the best of times and worst of times. I felt like a princess in my prom dress. I flitted about like the social butterfly I am, basically getting wine from all seven of the booze stations at the Maryland Club. I schmoozed, I socialized, I rocked my little corner of the universe. What really kind of surprised me was how many people introduced themselves to me — “Oh, Goddess! So glad you flew up for the prom — I was hoping to meet you!”
Huh?
I spend every day drowning in the specter of incompetence and inadequacy … inventorying what I have to offer and what is needed from me … and not seeing enough overlap. And wondering whether I should just flush the mind meds down the toilet because I haven’t had one goddamned creative idea since this time last year when I first got on them.
I got some weird news while I was getting dressed. It didn’t surprise me. Nothing does anymore, really. And my fight-or-flight response — which is always programmed to “flight” — got powered on to “fight.”
I don’t mean fight as in “fighting for” something. Rather, to fight against it.
And I did.
More to come on that.
Needless to type, I got drunk as an everlovin’ skunk off of Chardonnay. Way to impress the colleagues, Goddess!
Everyone said I seemed sober. Well, everyone except K., who practically carried me home. 
We walked in heels and bitter cold, and she locked arms with me and kept me upright and moving forward. I was pretty loopy. I promised myself I wouldn’t get too far gone. But at some point when I ran into one of my “boys” and had a wonderful conversation, I was exhilarated. And ready to party!
Speaking of my boys, I just learned that I’m going to get some out-of-town company this evening. So I’m going to get some rest and wait for my gentleman friend to arrive. I love, love, love my travels. And I love them even more when it means I can share parts of them and see people I otherwise wouldn’t.
I wish I could somehow combine the culture and excitement of Baltimore with the heat and beauty of South Florida. I mean, I guess I do, with the office being split between the two places. But I’m wondering whether it’s time to tell them that I need another change of scenery. My “kids” have begged me to figure out a way to get transferred to the Baltimore office. And truthfully, I think I need them as much as they need me right now.
As always, we will see. It’s in God’s hands. And God, if you’ve got the million-dollar idea that’s going to justify my existence and employment, I’d like that first. Because that will determine my direction. And I want, for once, for it to be absolutely right.