Caterwauling

Penthouse view of the Atlantic Ocean

Originally uploaded by dcwriterdawn

This is NOT my new ocean view but rather this was taken from the apartment across the hall from one of the apartments I’ve been considering. (I swear I saw 15 units.) But it ain’t much different on the other side. I will put up some fake hedges or something to further delineate my space (other than the balcony railings that separate the apartments).

But if this is living, I can’t wait to start.

I definitely took the PoorHouse — er, Penthouse. Spare me the stinky unit. Besides, the stinky unit sits over the lone road that goes through this island. I’m three floors higher and even if the neighbors get unruly, I only have four neighbors, two on each side. And three of those units are vacant.

I went to my pool yesterday and OMG, it’s nice. The one at my current unit — not the new one. (I enjoyed that one last weekend.) While the pool is prettier here, I will NOT miss waking up to construction before 7 a.m. every day of the week. Don’t ask me what they’re building. I have no clue because nothing’s getting done.

To add misery to mayhem, the cats have acquired fleas. I have a screened-in porch and good screens on the windows. I hate it, I don’t get it and it’s a sign to shove off NOW.

I agreed to pay a nasty lump sum to vacate my apartment. Thank GOD I haven’t spent any money since I got down here — it’s going away in one fell swoop. But I’m wondering if I shouldn’t just give two months’ notice (same amount) and shove off slowly. I’ll work it out once I sign the paperwork and hand over a check for *mumblemumblecommacommacry* at the new place.

I’m in panic-attack phase, of course. The OEH was talking about moving back to Pittsburgh to live in our cousin’s trailer. I mean, I want her to not be in my space and all, but NOT in a dilapidated TRAILER.

I’m under strict instructions from the employer to get friends down here STAT. Which shouldn’t be a problem when I have the new hacienda in place, judging from the thousand Facebook e-mails from destination-hungry travelers. 😉

I used to travel a lot for my last job, and that became a big part of my social life. Now, I don’t have a lot of business reasons to travel. Well, I’m sure I do but I can’t think of them. 🙂 And right now I don’t want to have to drag the laptop with me if I do get somewhere, so the temporary solution is to roll out the welcome mat to my out-of-state beloveds.

I think I’m still stuck in a mindset that since i never got to take any vacation time at the old job, when I do get time to break away, I don’t wanna work. But there’s a real cultural difference where I am now, that you can work from the fucking moon if you so desire, just take your shit with you and, like, DO it.

So, I know my firmly held beliefs puzzle them, and I will let go of them eventually. I guess I’ve never really had the opportunity to travel when it’s not for work, so it seems a waste to work on the road. Because even when I TRIED to get away from the old employment establishment, I ended up working and I could submit the bill for reimbursement.

I’ve got a lot of work to do on my work mentality, I’m aware.

I’ve got so much going on right now that I’ll probably have a nervous breakdown in short order. But my friend P, who met me when I was moving here and we’ve been hanging out lately, said she FINALLY sees a flicker of hope in my eyes.

The thing is, I have so much fire and creativity and passion and energy … somewhere. It’s all in different boxes and I barely bothered to unpack when I got here. I know that when I move, I’ll be eager to unpack and feel like I’ve landed.

I remember a long time ago when I was done with roommate-land, a friend had told me that even if I had to eat dog food to afford my own place, it would be the best damn dog food meal ever because it was in my own space.

She was right.

I love people (sometimes) but I need a sanctuary. Right now I share an office, share an apartment, share pretty much everything without ever really sharing the contents of my mind and heart because everybody’s got a demand on them and I try so desperately to cling to *something* that’s mine.

I hope the OEH can get on her feet. I’m more willing to help her now that she won’t be underfoot. I even bought her a housewarming gift. I’m contemplating giving her some of my furniture, although her studio is so twee that I’m sure her mountain o’ boxes won’t fit in there.

But I don’t think my entertainment center will fit in our new elevator, so I think I can con the movers into taking it up the steps to her apartment but they’d die in the stairwell if they dragged it up to mine. In which case, she can have my TV and I can buy a new one. 😉

This would be about the time that the meteor hurtling toward earth gets wind of the glimmer of hope in my heart and changes direction toward the Miami area. But that’s OK — if I’m gonna die, dying happy is the way to go!

This entry was posted on Sunday, July 19th, 2009 at 3:52 PM and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.