All too well

Oh Interwebs, I think when all is said and done in my life, you’ve been the only significant, lasting relationship in my life. And there’s so much I want to tell you right now, but I hope you’ll understand that I’ve got a lot to figure out.

And maybe it’s not so much as having a lot to figure out, but to accept and either turn to my advantage or to leave behind either in pieces or in its entirety.

Or to suck it up and have some damn fun already and not worry about whether it will last or whether these moments are all we’ll have.

“And I know it’s long gone
And there was nothing else I could do
And I forget about you long enough
To forget why I needed to.”

— Taylor Swift, “All Too Well”

You know me, though. I can’t blog in real time. In six months, I’ll come back with everything like it was happening right at that very moment. And I’ll be off on my next set of adventures.

In other words, I’ll have lived. In every sense.

I thought I heard a quote somewhere, that you can’t work toward something without believing you can actually achieve it. Because you never will.

Yet I wonder whether right now I’m believing too much. In everything.

“And I know it’s long gone
And that magic’s not here no more
And I might be okay
But I’m not fine at all

‘Cause there we are again, on that little town street
You almost ran the red ’cause you were looking over me
Wind in my hair, I was there, I remember it all too well.”

Universe, I’m willing to put in the proverbial blood, sweat and tears. Help me not to be scared, and to be fine no matter what happens. Better than fine, actually.

Give me your best and I will willingly accept it. And if it’s not the best, give me the sense to figure that out sooner rather than later, and the strength to do something about it.

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