Caterwauling

At peace or dead inside. Whichever.

When I leave work late, I’m always the dork walking amongst the rich and famous (and expensively dressed for the nightlife) with my lunchbox.

It doesn’t bother me. My mommy makes sure I have food. Can they say the same? Of course, they can afford $32 for a cheeseburger. But still.

Today I took out the peanut M&Ms and Dove peanut butter meltaways before I even left the house. Go, me.

That was my only victory today. But I’ll take it. Otherwise, I took about 7,000 fewer steps than yesterday and consumed about 10 more points.

It’s turning into a stupid-busy week and I’m trying to keep to some promises (not resolutions) I made myself this year:

I deserve evenings off.

I benefit from taking short walks when I can squeeze them in. And I must walk with purpose, to get the full benefit.

My mental/physical health is fine. When it is not, your problem is not my problem right now.

I will not stress more than I have to about projects, people, performance or rewards. I will do my best and shame on you if you don’t do your part too.

I will try very hard not to be sarcastic. But don’t be surprised by my newfound silence. It’s taking a lot of practice for me to muzzle my mind.

Not sure whether I’m at peace or if I’m dead inside. But would anyone care either way, really?

Maybe I could have been Amy Shumer if I could just have made a career out of being who I really was instead of the boring fuck I’ve forced myself to become.

This entry was posted on Tuesday, February 2nd, 2016 at 8:47 PM and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.

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