Being Viola
“You wanted to be where you are
But it looked much better from afar
A hillside in shadow between the people and the starsTwelfth night, we go
After something everyone should know
Somewhere in the distance out of sight.”— Gin Blossoms, “Pieces of the Night”
I feel like Viola, the heroine of “Twelfth Night.” To recall the “Shakespeare in Love” movie ending that set up the coming of that play, I feel like her as she married her rich king and sailed off to America with him … while leaving her beloved poet behind.
The torture she felt. The knowing she would love this man until she left this mortal coil. The sadness at how she didn’t feel anywhere near the same way about the man with whom she was about to start a new life.
And her grace at being able to say goodbye … to remind Will to redirect his sorrow into magnificent prose … to steel herself for the journey ahead, and whatever joy and sadness it would bring.
I will always miss my “Will.” And though my “king” is a great man, it hurt to matchmake T. with someone else.
It’s over now. It was the moment I drove to his office to withdraw my acceptance of his offer.
Time to stop looking back, and to start looking ahead at my chosen path.
And now, I sail on.