Big Will Smith Energy

The new moon is coming up on the 31st. Meantime, I’ve got some energy to work out during this dark moon.

Dark moons are times when energy is low and the desire to toss a match to everything is high. Which makes it a good time to decide which of that is ours to carry and which needs be given back to the giver.

I’m working that out with Lilith Fair Radio on Sirius XM. I wish they’d keep this channel for longer than a month. Hard to believe it’s been 25 years since the first festival … since I graduated from college … since all of those mixed-up, dark-moon emotions that I didn’t know what to do with.

It’s been like hearing from old friends … the ones you actually like.

So much has happened since then. Lots of it good. Lots of it bewildering. I can’t imagine being stuck with the same dark energy (mine AND others’. Especially others’) from that time.

God bless people who have had dark energy attached to their light since then. I know some good banishing spells!

In any event, I’m also feeling some Big Will Smith Energy. Even though it was probably staged when he popped Chris Rock in the mouth at the Oscars.

Mmm meltaways …

Will popping Chris in the mouth shook something loose in me. It went beyond the delight with whom I trade insults.

While I have not uttered word one about their family (and I would dispute any so-called “proof” they would claim to offer, since they never provide such proof when I call their bluff), they don’t return the favor.

Next time (and there always is one), don’t be surprised if I end up pulling a Will.

But like I said, it went beyond that. An old memory flickered from a previous shitstain on the pantaloons of humanity, who said something about another relative, years ago.

Then, I chose to ignore it. Why give them any acknowledgement that their comment was seen, let alone processed?

I wish I could be like that again. Like, oh, look. You want me to acknowledge your pathetic existence? How adorable. Bye, now.

So I guess this is me acknowledging it. Maybe they’ll get a hard-on that they’ve been acknowledged after all these years. Maybe I’ll get over my anxiety that it will conjure up Beetlejuice by nodding in their general direction.

I wonder if all this (three years wasted) was really me just getting out of my system all the shit I should have said 15 years ago.

One thing I do know is that there is great wisdom to be found in anxiety and fear. And in utter and complete disgust, apparently.

The good news about this dark energy is that it will be gone on Thursday, with the reset button that the new black moon brings.

But I’m taking that Big Will Smith Energy with me just in case one of these Beetles still needs squashing.

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