Clean
My mom’s friend from high school is on a mission to find me online.
I am not hard to find online. I mean, my three superfans seem to find me even when I try to hide. So I don’t try to hide anymore.
Anyway my mom said that’s just weird and she has enough freak-ass stalkers.
And I said, she HAS MY PHONE NUMBER. Like why does she need to find me online when she can drop a fuckin dime and SEE HOW I AM DOING?
Hilariously, the person actually screenshotted a real page/bio of mine and sent it to my mom. She said this is fake and tell Goddess she needs to get this wiped off the internet.
Um. It’s my LinkedIn page.
Anyway it got me to thinking about how I can never say nobody checks in to see how I am doing. People I don’t WANT to know how I am doing, sure do seem to think they know all about me.
Anyway I normally don’t flounce offline like some of you do. (By some, I mean the resident of Camp JeLoon due west.)
Nor do I generally make declarations that I am not going to do an activity that I am most definitely going to do from a fake account. (Oh hey, you again!)
But fuck it. I don’t want to move into my 40-ish era and still be morbidly curious about what this cherub is writing to try to get a rise out of me.
I don’t care. I say I don’t care. So … don’t care. Period.
Anyway I am declaring it now. I deleted my one fake account. The last thing I saw when I was in it was this cherub claiming I am in their instagram.
Which, I can’t even remember their username and I am glad for that. But hey, after five years if you’re still admonishing me for doing exactly what you do, guess what. It’s ALL yours.
Seriously. Goddamn nonsense. Non. Fucking. Sense. It is never going to change. Ever.
Look.
Feel FREE to troll my socials. My blog. My every breathless move. Enjoy it! And by all means, continue to sew mentions of me into every corner of the frayed fabric of your hat.
When I look in my memories, I don’t see you. But I bet you think about me. A lot.
And I am so happy that you do.
In fact, knowing that I live on (and on. and onnnnn) brings me untold amounts of joy.
And knowing that I now have it in writing that I don’t care to know what insults you publish about me anymore, well.
Gone was any trace of you; I think I am finally clean.