Dec 2 – Four of Cups – Accept the Refill
On the second day of December, the tarot advent calendar said to me …
This year, whatever feels special to you is where the magic is.
Makes me think about what I wrote for day one of the advent calendar — what is my calling, if not this?
I think my calling is within this. I’ve loved having a hand in 40 different pots for the past 20 years.
But after two decades, having a skill set that’s an inch deep and a mile wide is disconcerting.
Being 30-ish for so long, I’m accepting that there are fewer years left than have been lived. That maybe the bucket list needs to be shorter or I need to start checking things off faster.
I think the pandemic taught me to find wonder in the ordinary. But it also taught me to stop seeking magic. Including my own, but mostly in others.
Where I expect to find magic is in an odd place … in discipline. That’s my word for 2023.
Lately I’ve been too tired to do anything that brings joy or satisfaction. So I give myself grace for doing the bare minimum, since my minimum is not others’ minimum.
But, this period of grace could last forever, as I’m still tired. I think the way to get un-tired is to do more. Rather, do different things, and more of them.
I wouldn’t say it’s a matter of finding magic in the mundane.
Now, lord knows I’ve read enough mundane tweets from enough mundane people to know there ain’t no magic there. And never will be.
But maybe the magic is in actively seeking it beyond what already happens on its own.
So when that cloud hands me yet another cup, as it always does, I’m “saying yes instead of no,” as T-Swift sang.
Except to meetings. God, what has been most wonderful about the last two weeks was getting rid of the useless meetings and conversations and people (just two, really) I do my level best to avoid.
How do I zap the time sucks and fill that time with more joyful things? Talk about a life resolution, not just a New Year’s one.