Doing the YMCA, only Y-A-M-S

Worked from home today. It was everything I dreamed it could be. And so much more.

Got an unexpected visitor today. Who put together the desk I just bought from IKEA while I worked. Now if only I didn’t have to return the chair I bought that is wonky. Right now I have a desk with a too-small yoga ball for a seat. *shrug*

I would have put them together eventually. Maybe. Of course, my dining-room set waited two months for assembly till one of my boys came here from Pennsylvania and did it on his vacation time. (And that’s currently my desk!)

So, the other memorable part of my day: I had a mini yam fit. It was a weird one. Like, I’ve never had tears shooting horizontally off my face before.

I’m going to take a wild guess that I won’t be seeing this particular visitor ever again, as he witnessed it! lol

It’s funny because I’ve never really taken vacation from work. I’ve lost most of my vacation days in my life and that was OK because I didn’t feel like I needed them. Oh, how I need them now. Especially as they’re expiring and I’m actually telling people to PLEASE don’t give me any new projects right now because I am too burned out to give them the fabulous Goddess treatment that they’d normally get if I had two thoughts to rub together.

I’ve never said no to more work. It is normally my lifeblood. Now, it’s like, great. I can’t take a vacation with the same old workload. How am I ever going to escape with MORE to walk away from?

That was only part of the yam fit. The thing is, I have this grand plan to buy a car (hah) and drive to D.C., then to Pittsburgh, and back again. I’d be happy to work during some of those days. But I don’t know how to leave Mom for more than a week or so because she doesn’t function without me. And then there’s the buying a car bit.

Everyone at work is telling me to lease a car. And that would be fine if I didn’t put 35K on Mom’s car just in the past year using it as my commuting vehicle. She put 35K on the car from 2004 through last year. I doubled the mileage in one year working out in West Egypt.

That’s why working from home is such a gem. Not only do I not have to deal with idiot drivers for the usual hour and a half, but it’s as close to a vacation day as I can get right now.

I don’t mean to complain. I love what I do. I really do. I just … need to not do it for a week or two. Without fear.

One reason I don’t like working from home is I remember not having a job … or working and not getting paid. I remember standing on my balcony BEGGING my now-ex-friend to please for the love God PAY ME. I was working around the clock for her and not getting a dime … and blowing all my cell phone minutes out of the water because we had to TALK ON THE PHONE all the fucking time.

And now I have a lot of conference calls and it makes me NUTS A) to not be able to work and B) because I remember yap, yap, yapping and sharing ideas that those assholes are using now that they didn’t compensate me for.

Meanwhile I’m always feeling like an ass that I’m tired all the time and while I give my best, I notice that my best was better when I had a little more spunk in me.

So anyway, yams.

I’m debating whether to head to the office tomorrow or just hang out here in my happy place. That was my IM status today: Happy Place. One of my friends messaged me and said it made her day seeing that status. The last time I worked from home, another friend messaged me to say good for me; it’s about time I practiced a little self-preservation for a change. I love that. I love that people care about me. Now, to figure out how to spend a little more time caring for myself so I can keep giving my all to all of them. …

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