Fit
This week a problem I’ve had for a very long time suddenly went away.
One day, blinding aggravation and stress. The next day, I woke up NOT screaming for the first time in months.
If only all problems went away like that. Or, should I say, if they just STAY gone, everything will be OK.
You wonder why you go through these ordeals. Like, what was the lesson so you don’t have to repeat that shit and learn it next time?
I think I got some insight into an old boss. I mean I still think she was a jerk who was only concerned with hiring the cheapest talent possible (and then bitching about the lack of talent).
But let’s assume she was on top for a reason. And that she correctly could spot when certain people were moving the business forward and when others were holding it back.
In that case, I was definitely holding it back in her eyes. I was trying to restore the souls of broken employees. And maybe I did need to leave well enough alone in some cases.**
(**Like in the case of the one who refused to give me a reference after I lost my job trying to save theirs. And they wonder why I don’t talk to them. Or to the friend I genuinely miss who is up this person’s ass.)
But for the fact that some of the good ones did manage to stick around, I hope having me around — even if for a minute — might have done something to help.
I don’t expect her or anyone to spend a moment trying to figure out why I “happened” in their lives. And I don’t plan to spend another moment trying to figure out why the last year happened to me the way it did, either. I wasted enough waking hours on that.
I guess the lesson is it’s all about “fit.” And if it don’t fit, don’t force it. Because everyone ends up being out of a lot of money, patience and time in the end.