Fresh Out the Slammer
Yesterday, I saw a man I thought, this could be a soulmate.
Note I say “a” soulmate. I don’t believe we are entitled to just one. Rather, I think there are a good dozen or so people who float in and out of our orbit. And we either don’t notice or appreciate them at the time.
Well.
I was fresh out the slammer shower, standing around waiting to pick up a food order. So was he.
He was all smiles. Like, just a genuinely pleasant person.
Good hair, good skin, good posture, good bone structure. Minding his own business. Wildly courteous to the cashier.
Like, my heart saw him and said THIS is who you deserve.
I was trying so hard to get up the nerve to simply say something about how his smile brightened up my day. But I couldn’t. So I just admired him.
I wonder if people see me like that. I’m usually in my head, singing a song or observing the world or both. Do people stop and say, wow, that girl is having fun and what a wonderful sight that is.
(I mean, I know better. If it’s at my apartment compound, they actively try to destroy that peace and joy.)
(Oh you don’t like having your peace and joy disturbed, Butterface without her bike?)
In any event, we both got our food and jumped in our cars and left. Whether he even noticed me, I would doubt because I looked like Video Killed the Instagram Star. Not memorable in a good way, for sure.
Anyway, I went out last night. Or, as Kenny Chesney says in his No Shoes Radio intro to the song, “We went OUTTT last night.”
Had a dream in the wee hours that I think was loosely based on the Hot Boy.
I dreamed that I met someone sweet and good looking. Whoever I was standing with said oh my god go talk to him. And I said, “Why on earth would someone that good look twice at me?”
OK, insecurities ahoy.
What’s good about the dream is I said, “Wait a minute. Most men turn out to be complete losers anyway. Why am I assuming that I am the loser in this scenario? I am pretty freaking amazing. And if he turns out to be a dud, at least I don’t spend my life wondering.”
I swear, if I could just be the girl in my dreams, I’d be set.
Anyway, I did introduce myself to the guy, and we had an impromptu coffee date. And it was wonderful.
I returned to my friends, as we were going to an event together after. Turns out, HE was a featured speaker at the event. And I was just so charmed that, instead of practicing his speech, he didn’t want to pass up the opportunity to meet ME.
Anyway, I am not going to be hanging around said restaurant IRL in hopes of seeing this adorable creature.
I missed my chance because I was feeling sad in general and very #curlsofinstagram (e.g., my hair looked fried/frizzy instead of in golden ringlets) in particular.
I wonder if the dream was meant to tell me, hey dumbass, you blew your opportunity to brighten someone’s day … and maybe your own.
“As I said in my letters
Now that I know better
I will never lose my baby again.”