Caterwauling

Editor’s note: Wow, I’ve never had occasion to quote a Prince song before. And certainly not that one!

I don’t think it’s much of a secret that I hate being a pet owner, mostly because of the regular poop grenades that get lobbed around my carpeted areas. But really, I do love my girls, particularly my 12-year-old Calico, Maddie, who’s been my best friend since I was 22.

I took the cats to the vet on Saturday for shots and the vet asked if I’d be game for a geriatric workup on Miss Molly (one of my 40 other names for her). I said sure — what’s another $100 when you’ve already got me on my knees, bent over and accepting a half-shaft already?

What I didn’t expect was the call on Monday to tell me all the medicines I’d now be ordering and the conditions we’d be treating. And then the visit yesterday for chest X-rays and blah blah blah surgery this radioactive iodine that hey come back in three weeks for a follow-up mmkay two thousand dollars *eekeekeek*.

*headslam*

So I write all of this as a setup to yesterday’s visit. I dropped Maddie off at the vet and when they took her from me, she started crying. This isn’t a vocal cat. She purrs a lot but Kadie’s the whiny one. So when Maddie is protesting, well, it breaks my little heart.

I mentioned to one of my friends yesterday that, “If I were handing over a human …” and oh God, I am SUCH a girl. *swallowing past throat lump* However will I take a kid to daycare?

Anyway, I left work at a reasonable hour to go pick up my frightened little kitty. And in the waiting room was this bellowing pig of a woman who was, well, bellowing. Incidentally, we’d gone to see the circus on Sunday and it was called — ha ha — “Bellobration.” Bellow-licious!

So this woman was just SCREAMING. And why? Because she was in the wrong. Because she brought in a cat and had LIED about it having its shots. Because they can’t treat/board animals that are not up-to-date on their vaccinations.

She had brought in a cat because his fur was all matted … as she was screaming, “It’s matted around his PENIS and he PEES through his FUR.”

Oh gawd. I was so sick just listening to her holler — I was hoping the kennel where they housed my sweet, loving, quiet, ‘fraidy cat was soundproof, as I was ready to climb the curtains myself.

To make matters worse, she had a little boy, probably about 2, who was tearing up the waiting room. I mean, taking plastic brochure holders and throwing them up in the air, creating a majestic airborne display of advertisements for pet insurance. He was screaming because his mom was screaming, so she was screaming at HIM to stop screaming. (Oh, my aching head.)

My vet, to his credit, never raised his voice, although he looked absolutely exhausted. He took me into the next room to look at Maddie’s X-rays while the loudmouth complained about having to pay $25 a night to have her cat boarded and that she has a husband in bed with a herniated disc and she gets off work at 3:30 and doesn’t want to have to pay for two days blah blah blah *stabstabstab*.

There are signs in the lobby to please restrain pets at all times. I volunteered to the vet to write “and small children” on the sign. He joked that, well, the sign DOES say to keep small animals in cages. 😉

I like him already!

I think Maddie’s going to be fine. I mean, we’ve got a lot of work ahead of us but I feel like I’m in good hands. I also think the vet enjoyed me, because I asked questions and hung around and talked stocks with him — anything I can do to ensure Maddie gets good treatment, well, count me in.

But, and I say this all the time — after hearing that this bellowing mess of a woman has a husband at home in bed, well, I gotta say it. How did SHE get a man?!?!

This entry was posted on Wednesday, April 16th, 2008 at 8:19 AM and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.