Holding space
Literally everyone I like has complained to me about the same three people who drive me bugshit nuts.
I am gracious when it happens. I assure them they’re not paranoid. That it’s not just them. That it’s the world’s worst-kept secret, but it’s not a problem till it’s a problem for people at a higher pay grade.
I don’t really wish ill for the antagonists. My prayer, at least as far as I pray on Faceypages, is that they will find their dream job at a company I don’t work for.
I mean, that allows for the possibility that they might hang out and I’ll get kicked out.
But still. I’ve decided to hold space for the possibility that I am more valuable than the goobers will ever be, even combined.
That’s such a freeing thought.
That, yeah of course the worst always seems to happen. Or at least the hardest or stupidest thing.
In stocks and politics, I always say the thing that hurts the biggest number of people in the biggest way is what will happen.
I have yet to be wrong on those fronts. (e.g., just when it’s time to buy, the market shits the bed because JPOW might breathe incorrectly tomorrow … Roe overturned … neo-Nazi MTG as fucking speaker pro temp WHAT THE FUCK.)
In any event, what if … I am beloved (if not undervalued) and everyone has THEIR number and it’s a WRONG number and they don’t realize how HAPPY we would be if things went back to the way they were before (e.g., without them)?
Now that’s a relief.
Also, I decided I don’t believe in breathing in the good and out the bad.
I’m not breathing toxic fire on that which sustains me.
Instead, I exhale joy and hope and love to the trees, the ducks, the grass, the butterflies and the white caps of the ocean waves.
Lord knows they have enough people fertilizing them with their bullshit. It’s up to me to sustain them. As I try to do with the people who have less of a voice than I.