Hopecore
Someone on Xitter wrote that “The Golden Bachelorette” is their weekly dose of hopecore.
I like the show and the way they described it.
Joan and so many of the bachelors are widowed. They know great loss.
And unlike shows like “Below Deck” and of course the more youth-oriented Bachelor/ettes, there really aren’t drunken orgies. I mean, there was Jack, who loved his cocktails and cannonballs. But the decorum is pretty high overall.
It’s interesting to watch people help each other through their guilt and discomfort and feeling some joy. And it’s fascinating to see how otherwise well-adjusted people can be thrown back in time by an anniversary or a sign (in the form of a hawk, a memory, whatever).
I know my loss wasn’t a romantic one. But it was profound in every other way.
I do wonder about the guy who said his wife woke him up and left him. Out of the blue, really? Or just out of the blue to you? Red flag core, yo.
I could say I don’t have a lot of people to talk to, which is true. So I see myself in these guys who suddenly have a support network. How they can be vulnerable. How they can get information they never had access to.
Charles L. had no idea why his wife died with a mouth full of blood. And Guy the ER doctor said she bit her tongue. And the relief that this one little fact gave Charles was palpable.
This is the first real instance I’ve seen on any of these shows with actual brotherhood.
I like it.
I do have a support network. My cousin and best friend. Everyone on my staff lost a parent this year, too.
While we don’t talk about it all the time, it’s very namaste. We see the gods and goddesses in each other, and also the deep, deep scars we incurred that double as matching tattoos.
I, for one, am still just bewildered. I walk past Mom’s door and say out loud, “How on earth is there a world without Wobin?”
Like, I literally just bought a ticket to Kennywood. KENNYWOOD.
I must say, Magic Kingdom is so much more efficient and effective. I made a mistake on a ticket and the gate agent fixed it right there on MY phone.
I did NOT make that mistake with K’Wood. I have the PDF receipt (not the app, sigh) to prove it. But still, friction.
Anyway, my hopecore is also leaving town. I seem to come back stronger every time.
Well, I come back sad as fuck but then after a week I’m OK.
I couldn’t do any of this before. While others were sitting around blah blah blahing about all their stupid plans … and then posting boring-ass pictures because they don’t know how to make plans … I was just here happy we were all still alive.
Now my family of five is three.
And at the rate I’m going, imma have three bucks in my account if I don’t ease up on the accelerator.
Anyway, I have a pint-sized queen to meet. And I cannot wait.
I’m sure we’ll have plenty of time for sadness as we remember all who came and left before us. But, I’m glad we can meet at all.
Nothing like meeting a one-year-old to give you a reason to want to stay on this side of the veil for a few moments longer.