‘I heard that you like the bad girls, honey. Is that true?’
“They say that the world was built for two
Only worth living if somebody is loving you.”— Lana Del Rey, “Video Games”
Went to a party last Saturday night.
No I didn’t get laid but I didn’t get in a fight either, Lita Ford.
I went alone. As I always do. And the first question everyone asks, if they bother to talk is, “Who are you here with?” Because they’re all coupled off, as happens in my age group.
I did invite a friend to go along. Story for another day. Useless.
I also had a birthday gift for a friend I thought would be there, whom I didn’t know moved out-of-state two weeks ago.
So, yeah. Anybody else have any surprises for me?
I realize that for all my extroversion at work, I have developed a bit of social anxiety, methinks. I have zero desire to initiate a conversation. I cannot STAND small talk and refuse to generate any. And honestly I was happy sitting outside in the freezing cold by the bonfire by myself.
I mean, I joined a bunch of conversations. But nothing really took off. For saying I’m a damn journalist and can ask great questions, I just … don’t always ask ones that generate much follow-up.
Polite but detached. Eye on the door. Ready to defect. That’s me since I moved to Florida.
The thing is, I have nothing to talk about but work and mom. I have unparalleled expertise in both. I don’t have time to read the damn headlines or have a hobby. What on earth can I say that people will relate to?
My boss and his wife were the only people I knew outside the party hosts. We’re cool and I’m happy to socialize but if there’s one thing I know about couples, it’s to not go near them too much. Because, women.
Besides, I occupied my time making all the other coupled-off women cringe when their significant others shook my hand and said hi.
Meanwhile, I was contemplating my escape (did I mention I stayed sober till about 2 a.m.?) around midnight when a nice gal struck up a conversation with me. And she and her boyfriend were just awesome.
She was terrific at the small talk. And it quickly became Big Talk.
I cannot tell you how grateful I was for her. She asked me to friend her on Facebook while we were talking, and her boyfriend friended me today.
It was as though God Himself wanted us to connect. It’s like, all the Swiss cheese holes in my heart, she had answers for. She’s beautiful and brilliant and telling ME I’m beautiful and brilliant.
I admit, I go to these parties hoping that they will help me become the social butterfly I once was. And that maybe going to parties with cool people means I’ll meet a cool person to add to my circle.
I also admit I wouldn’t mind meeting a guy at one of these things, especially since the hosts just have the world’s nicest group of friends ever. But coming out of it, making a genuine connection for the first time in a long time? Even better, I think.