‘I’m tired of pretending I’m not special’
I’m saving you a hundred bucks here. You’re welcome.
Things I learned from the Charlie Sheen “Violent Torpedo of Truth” tour:
1. One of his “goddesses” left him. Pity, because the combined age of the two almost added up to his.
2. Jeff Ross? Is hysterical. Lisa Lampanelli has wanted to do a Charlie Sheen roast, and I think she would have been fantastic, but Jeff brought a lot of order and sense (and laughs) to a trainwreck of a show.
3. Otherwise, the real humor was taking place in the audience. Oh, Greg Giraldo, I would rather have heard you than that drunk bitch behind us!
4. Charlie, problems aside, seems like a nice guy. He hugged everyone who came up on stage (fans were allowed to ask questions — and those were all too damn stupid to be planted) and kissed an 82-year-old woman from Key West who was looking for love advice.
5. I would have regretted missing the show if I hadn’t gone. It was the closest I’ll ever get to an acid trip. Charlie has a sense of humor about himself, albeit not much in the way of comedic chops. Like most performers, he’s situationally funny but not so much in the execution.
6. The cutest merchandise was being sold inside. (I coveted a pink “Goddess” T-shirt.” But we got shirts in the parking lot for five bucks that were good enough. Mine says “Charlie’s Angel.” 🙂
7. Donald Trump is not only an asshole, but a cheap asshole. Charlie ain’t voting for him, and neither am I. Holy shit we have something in common!
I recorded the “official” roast portion of the show. Give it a moment if it hasn’t finished rendering yet — I promise it’s worth the watch….