Kitchen sink
“I would wait all my days to hear the words I need you to say
To keep me hanging on and not walking away
But you don’t say anything do you.”— Anderson East, “Say Anything”
The wine is starting to kick in. So, yeah. You know how these sorts of things end up.
Random item No. 1: I finally called Whorothy a whore to Topo Gigio. It has been a long time since I’ve felt like myself, and I’m starting to feel her again lately. And while I don’t think I’ve held back anything from TG, frankly I realize I have nothing to lose.
I think maybe I always wondered if there were some phantom chance hanging over us. But even if that were the case, frankly he needs someone to kick him in the ass. Because if he actually thinks old whorebag is ever going to come around, he best not expect his real friends to welcome her with arms as wide open as her legs.
Anyway, he’s gone silent. Maybe he doesn’t even care what I said and he’s just busy. Or maybe this is it. I’m not even going to wax poetic here. I want more for myself and I want people in my life with the same ambition.
Random item No. 2: So I met this random interloper, not necessarily a snowbird but definitely someone who only comes to Florida for the fair weather. I had a very hot dream about him last night. Actually it was less hot than sweet — a great first and second kiss.
What was interesting about the dream was that he wanted me to meet him somewhere (it was a major city — Gawd I miss real cities). Even though I could see him in a cafe, wearing a kelly green shirt and a baseball cap (Hot.) and waiting for me (Hotter.), I grabbed my food and kept walking — I had to explore.
I didn’t go far. I felt like I was coming back to him — I just wanted to take a peek at the big wide world I’ve been missing out on. But it amuses me that, even in dreams, my independent streak is as wide as my pudgy pork roast butt.
Random item No. 3: Met a new contact in the industry and got the dirt on some of my friends. Also heard a positive thing about one or two of those who have disgusted me over the years. This parallel universe is freaking me out a bit. I’m just glad I’ve always been consistent and that my own reputation is intact. Because in this industry? No one forgets.
Random item No. 4: I get some creepy e-mails from people on dating sites. I can’t remember the last time I even responded to anybody. Freaky moment of the day: I was nomming on a whole-wheat-everything bagel and my beloved banana coffee when I saw a guy who looks exactly like somebody in one of my inboxes. He was just as creepy in person as in his photo. He was sitting alone and checking out anything with a vagina. *shudder* Validation as to why I didn’t waste my time on a reply when I can’t find the time/energy to communicate with people I genuinely love.
Random item No. 5: Down 2.5 more pounds today. Squee! Ten more pounds and I’ll be back where I was before the company reorganized in January and all this weight-gain business exploded.
Random item No. 6: I found out the business I quit unexpectedly was even-shadier than I knew. Like, they stole $10 mil from someone … on top of the shit I DID know about. Why did I ever leave D.C.?
Random item No. 7: I haven’t had a smoke in forever and a day. And I’ve been dieting. And I’ve cut my alcohol intake. And no one has gotten a foot up their ass even if they’ve deserved it. If I don’t get a goddamn award for all of this (or, a vacation day), then there is no justice in this world.