Caterwauling

“I ain’t settlin’
Just getting by
I’ve had enough so-so
For the rest of my life.”

— Sugarland, “Settlin'”

What a weird little week. Got promoted, went on vacation, got a new office. Fabulous.

Seven days ago, I was on my way to the MGM Grand and Mandalay Bay for an escape from D.C. And the one thing I learned is that just because people have enough money to stay at those over-the-top hotels, doesn’t mean they all actually step into the shower and take advantage of the complimentary toiletries and bath salts. 😉

While I was away, I didn’t do much in the way of touristy stuff, other than catching the Shark Reef exhibit, where I absolutely loved sitting in one of the two tunnels with sharks of all shapes, colors and sizes swimming overhead. In fact, as I learned my last night there, they have a channel devoted to a live webcam of the Shark Reef — it was freaking awesome to fall asleep to. (It’s available on a delay here.)

If you’ve ever stayed in Mandalay Bay, please be assured that you will never go outside — you don’t have to. The place is its own empire, complete with a beach and great restaurants (StripSteak, Shanghai Lilly, Rum Jungle, Wolfgang Puck’s, House of Blues, Red White & Blue, etc. — I recommend them all foodwise but don’t bother if you’re trying to get somewhere else afterward on time). Everytime I was in an elevator and heard someone saying they wanted to try one, I was striking up conversations, telling them what to order. 🙂

I’d wanted to catch a show or go to the Eiffel Tower again, but really, I breathed nothing but the oxygen that was pumped into the casinos. (Oh, gawd, there went the car payment!) Sad thing is, I walked around so much that I should have dropped about eight jeans sizes, but the yummy food more than offset THAT marathon! I swear, from my room to the restaurants would have been an $8 cab ride were everything laid out flat on the street!

I was joking with my colleagues yesterday that I was like a captor who had the chance to be free of her kidnapper, yet couldn’t go. I walked outside once — once! — and immediately stepped back into the revolving doors and went to the slot machines. People were looking at me funny, but then again, when DON’T they?!?!

The first day I was there and had some time to myself to go find breakfast, I turned on my little ROKR phone and the Sugarland song I quoted above popped on first. It was sort of an epiphany for me — that I CAN have good things and I need to go after them with all my might. They’re not going to just happen, y’know? I’ve worked really hard to get where I am and it’s going to take even more work to stay afloat and maybe go even further, but it’s doable.

I mean, I’ve settled for less than I’ve deserved for so long that I have had such low expectations of people, places and things that are just amazing. I’m starting to find that the world really is ours for the asking … and taking.

I was entertaining in my new office yesterday, and my buddy who made it possible was saying that, wow, just two weeks ago I was wondering whether there’d be any fallout from a random act of stupidity inflicted upon my superiors supposedly by me (but not). But all it did was remind everyone that I’m Web-savvy and I got a big fat invitation to develop/administer a Web portal and blog, since I’m so good at it in this very space. 😉 Talk about being in the right place at the right time! LOL. I love it. Just LOVE IT.

I also get to hire someone I respect very much. I mean, I always say that when bad things happen to me, the universe avenges my boo-boos and brings me out ahead. I tell you, I’ve spent my life being happy for the success of people around me, knowing that my day would come, too. It has, and I’m enjoying it more than I ever thought I would.

Don’t call it a happy ending, though. Call it the boost to keep me hanging in there to see what I can *really* do, when given the opportunity. I would never have had these chances in my previous incarnation — growth at my previous job was discouraged; now it’s mandatory. I’m thriving, and thankful for it.

So this holiday — a far cry from when I literally tried to slit my wrists two years ago (but I hate blood, so that ended that) — I’m giving thanks for everything that happened to tear me down, because it made me work harder on the way back up and I appreciate it 10 times more than I probably would have back then.

The American dream is on its way to being mine.

A-freakin’-men!

This entry was posted on Wednesday, November 22nd, 2006 at 10:36 AM and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.