Caterwauling

I’ve been spending a lot of time sleeping instead of writing. Which seems to have paid off, as I landed my first official freelance gig today and have dinner tonight with a guy I’m partnering with to exchange business leads. Hooray!

I spent a lot of time last week trying to get meetings and otherwise be dazzling at the Money Show. And I have a ton of potential projects that are being designed with me in mind, with people I’ve worked with before and look forward to working with again. But of course nothing is really ready so it’s been a little frustrating, knowing that I have to have a fallback plan.

But after a baker’s dozen interviews and an equal number of “you’re overqualified” and “you’re expensive,” well, I’m willing to settle for a lot less for now. And I will tell you why — because I can.

No, I didn’t hit the lottery. (I wish.) It’s because I can accept far less money when the benefits include “respect.” Not just me respecting them, but vice-versa.

The best part is the learning curve is minimal, not just with the subject matter but also with the personalities involved. We all know what makes each other tick. And any job, really, is 10% what you already know and 90% on-the-job learning. When you can flip those percentages, that means things will get done sooner and more easily. And that’s worth untold value in today’s so-very-fake world.

In any case, I look forward to either A) not having anything to blog about because I’m so wildly content, or B) concentrating on my next big mission: finding my happiness.

I posted this article on my Facebook page: Why You’re Not Married, and my pastor of all people commented and re-posted for the rest of her world to see. Good to know that she’s now clued in on my bad habits. 🙂 But the first step on the road to recovery is coming clean, yes?

I’m guilty of all six reasons why I’m not married. All. Freaking. Six. Although I am rather proud of myself for proving No. 3 (“You’re a Slut”) wrong when I turned down a guaranteed escapade. Really, been there and done that. As my beloved friend Mel texted me as I was contemplating the offer, the problem with men is that they come with a penis attached. I think that was the deciding factor for me. Perhaps it goes back to No. 5 (“You’re Selfish”) in that I wasn’t in the mood to entertain a penis. But, then that makes being selfish good, yes? 😉

The takeaway to the article resonates with both an echo and a thud:

“Marriage is not about getting something — it’s about giving it. Strangely, men understand this more than we do. Probably because for them marriage involves sacrificing their most treasured possession — a free-agent penis — and for us, it’s the culmination of a princess fantasy so universal, it built Disneyland.”

I don’t think I ever had the princess fantasy. I figured I’d run my own publishing company, which I now do. (Go figure.) But I never got to the, “Then what?” because I figured THAT would be the epitome of my happiness.

Silly, self-publishing princess. 🙂

So now what, indeed. How does one stop being selfish, say, when that’s the only reason she’s made it this far in life? What’s left to give when “what’s mine is mine, and what’s mine is also mom’s”? How do you stop being angry (No. 1) when being nice only gets your Prozac prescription renewed?

I do think I’ve had it right, though, that I’ve been my own white knight on a white steed. Of course, I’m more tan and freckled and I have a beaten-up jalopy. But, you know. Whatever. It would just be nice to actually be safe and free to be selfless when it’s with a job or a man who will actually be there in five years, and he will still be in the same mindset as well.

This entry was posted on Wednesday, February 16th, 2011 at 3:22 PM and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.