‘She spilled her coffee, broke her shoelace, smeared the lipstick on her face’
I think it’s time to just go back to bed already.
So I got up this morning and put on a pot of coffee (chocolate-cherry beans. Mmmm, good), and that was about the only thing I managed to execute with any success. From there, I proceeded to:
1. Put on a pot of water to boil so I could make some pasta to take to work for lunch.
2. Put the pot of water on one of the three burners that I did NOT turn on.
3. Visited the stove to wonder WTF smelled funny and realized all the water had boiled out of the fucking saucepan.
4. Did my morning workload.
5. Just got off the phone with one of my editors to ask why I hadn’t pushed one of the things live.
6. Pushed it live.
7. Got another call asking why the wrong chart was in the right article.
8. Haaaaaaa.
9. Explained that I am an idiot and I had done all the legwork but that clearly I had experienced a lobotomy overnight. Made the fix within 12 seconds. Realized nobody noticed my mistakes for seven hours and fuck, I should have just slept in.
10. Realized that I forgot my lunch and it’s sitting on the stove where I left it. (Did I turn off that burner?)
Oh, but wait, there’s more. It’s called “Breakfast, or Lack Thereof.”
11. I accidentally grabbed the cat food box from the fridge instead of the cereal.
12. And I poured it into my bowl.
13. AND I poured milk over it.
14. The last of the milk, might I add.
15. It’s noon and I am very hungry right now, come to think of it — I guess that’s why!
BUT THE DAY ISN’T A TOTAL WASH
1. I got a very nice compliment from my boss first thing this morning.
2. I just got a very nice text message from a very nice young man.
And in that, the good always washes away the bad!