Caterwauling

“I get to go home in one week
But I’m leaving home in three weeks
They throw me a bone just to pick me dry.”

— Stone Sour, “Zzyzx Rd”

I’m still adjusting to Eastern time and trying to not sleep just because my body tells me to. And if it ain’t my body telling me to grab a nap, then it’s the wild winter concoction of cold meds that’s knocking me out when I have to do a week’s worth of work in two days. Holiday? What holiday? I still haven’t even had a weekend!

I’m hoping a blog break will make me feel better, but I doubt it. I’ve been blogging in my head for a week straight. I could have gotten on the Internet, but uninstalling/reinstalling drivers on my craptop every time I changed IPs was fairly low priority. Life’s been full-speed ahead and I’ve been loving it, and this coming-home bullshit sort of sucks to no end.

If I could be anywhere right now, it would be on the Beach Level of Mandalay Bay. I’d be bouncing between the hot pool, the eucalyptus steam room and the redwood sauna. I’d be snacking on cashews and having hot orange tea with half-and-half, which tasted like a warm creamsicle, watching CNN and loving the fact that no one on earth knew where I was or how to get to me.

Since everyone’s asking, the boy. Ha. Oh my. I sort of went to Vegas this time with the mindset that I was bound and determined to meet someone — hookup, overnighter, whatever — and let me tell you, that universe? Is listening.

Not to say I did any of the above (and I wouldn’t say if I had), but perhaps I shall be a bit more specific next time I make a request. 🙂

You wonder about these men sometimes. I mean, they’re cute if they don’t have a lot of game, because that means they are either nervous or don’t do this all the time. I want them to have game, though, but I get suspicious when they have too much. This one? Not an ounce. But funny. Very, very funny.

I was out there at a convention (the town was full of Democrats. Yay!), so I was sort of annoyed that with all the men of class and money out there, I get picked up by the damn security guard. 😉 LOL.

NOT ONLY IS GOD A WOMAN,
BUT SHE’S ALSO A COMEDY WRITER.
WITH PMS.

So we were talking here and there during my stay, and he was trying to gauge my interest. So in front of my friend, he asks me, “Do you like chocolate syrup?”

And I’m thinking, the hell? Are we making sundaes? So I said sure. But then Gameless in Vegas said he loves his momma and his sister, but he really prefers “white meat.”

My friend was just shaking her head, wondering what the hell I was getting myself into.

So he goes on to ask what time I get off. I said, in textbook fashion, “Well, that’s largely dependent on you, is it not?”

This goes on for days. I finally gave him my business card (he begged) because my badge sort of had my name and company, oh, emblazoned on it.

And once he got the information, he proceeded to give me his whole life story. And he said he is never fortunate enough to get women like me — he always gets the wild, weird and fucked-up Vegas-types. And THEN I had to hear about his dead ex-wife, their three kids, his baby momma and their daughter.

At which point I told him to give me back my card. 🙂

(I wasn’t kidding.)

The worst part of it was when he asked what I thought about dating younger men. Now, I could look at him and tell I was younger, so I really didn’t understand that line of discussion. (This was prior to the four kids disclosure.) And yeah, younger men? I’ve got a collection of ’em that I’m proud to show off. 😉 But I told him if he thinks he’s younger, there’s no way in hell he’s going to be right.

Yeah, he’s five years older than me. So I said some pickup line — telling me he thinks I’m older than I am!

He just called — he swears he’s coming to D.C. someday soon. But I’ll probably see him next time I’m in Vegas, although I took myself off the circuit for awhile to give someone else a chance to go to the desert. Besides, I’d much rather meet a local boy next. (Hear that universe? LOCAL BOY. One with a good income so I can become a kept woman and stop this “working for a living” shit.)

Anyway, back to the digital salt mines. And while I’m asking the universe for some good fortune, if I can dream about these projects being done, will they get done? 🙂

This entry was posted on Wednesday, November 21st, 2007 at 1:37 PM and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.