Caterwauling

I really don’t take the New Year’s resolution business seriously. The way I see it, I spent so many New Year’s Eves drunk and chain-smoking that the debauchery continued well into Jan. 1, so that was hardly a recipe for starting the new year with a clean slate.

Instead, I look at the new year as starting sometime on or around Feb. 1, to give me a month to commit a year’s worth of heresy so that I can get it out of my system.

I attempted to eat healthily yesterday, but fuck it — there’s always tomorrow. 😉

My lone resolution, as it were, was to find workout wear. Which I did. I never said I was actually resolving to work out in it. 😉 I’m good till next year on that one, thanks!

My resolutions tend to happen upon me in January. Apparently it’s the year of making enemies, as I made three in the past two days. Which, a friend pointed out was a huge achievement because I made enemies in two different years but in the same week. How awesome is that?!?!

People: beware. If you’re going to do battle with me, I suggest you acquaint yourself with the fact that you are going to LOSE. I rarely fight back, but I sure as hell am collecting facts and evidence in the interim for when the day comes that I need it. Reminder: I said somewhere on this page before that 2008 is the Year of the Good Guys Winning for a Change. And we will. Damn it.

I’m already behind at work and we’ve only been back a day. I am feeling burned out from getting no real rest over the holidays and of busting my ass when normal people were probably taking off of work. I feel like I had no psychological or physical break between the years, and here it is Jan. 3 and I’m still exhausted from last year. And the pressure’s 10 times as high as it was before the clock struck midnight on Dec. 31.

But alas, the flipping of the calendar wasn’t all for naught. I sort of had one of those blinding flashes of the obvious the other day when I was talking to one of my friends. I don’t share much personal info, believe it or not. The most anyone knows about me is on this blog but even that is a whole lot of nothing, most of the time.

But I was kind of musing about why the universe put certain people in my life and why we seem to keep traveling the same roads but it’s like those roads are parallel — there’s some element of convergence here and there, but I thought the roads were designed to lead me TO these folks so why the hell aren’t our paths officially crossing?

And then I thought well, maybe these folks were brought into my life so that they could lead me to the NEXT stop on my journey. That the people I thought I’d end up having in my life forever simply helped me to become an improved version of myself that they will, in turn, introduce to the people I’m supposed to either be with permanently or actually just meet next.

And I took more than just a little comfort in that revelation. We exhaust ourselves sometimes, trying to make things work that apparently weren’t meant to work. Maybe if we all freed up our minds and hearts a little, we’d see that we’re just passing through and shouldn’t be clinging for dear life because the people we’re supposed to meet next shouldn’t have their first impression of us marred by our kicking and screaming to stay right where we are.

Besides, for those of us who worry that we’ll be looking back over our shoulders, wondering what we passed up, we need to remember that if anyone didn’t want to be left behind, then it’s their job to run ahead of us and be what we’re running toward. And if not, then they’re probably not going to be obscuring the view of what it is we’re supposed to be seeing, and working toward, after all.

This entry was posted on Thursday, January 3rd, 2008 at 9:02 AM and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.