This is me complaining
Yeah, the giving up on the complaining? Not so much.
We’ve got so many scam artists down here that I pass about a dozen “It’s OK to Say No to Panhandlers” signs on my way home, since my little beach town seems to be home to more than most.
I met a homeless girl last night. I see her all the time. She hangs out at my 95 off-ramp. I’ve never really had cash on me anyway, but I could never get a feel for whether she was for real or not.
Last night I was the first car at the intersection. And we connected for just a brief second. She’s real, all right. I could feel the hurt, the pride, the gratitude that someone would make eye contact even if they couldn’t help.
My attitude toward the needy is this. I want to help them all. But then I have a mom who needs a helping hand and no one to give it. And is giving that nice lady on the street five bucks going to take away from something that could save my mom’s life?
Because, like I said, I want to help everyone. And it breaks my heart that either A) all thousand people on the corners in my beach town are that desperate or B) maybe only 5% of the people I see actually do need the help and the rest are scam artists?
I type all of this to say yesterday was a day I won’t forget. It’s the day in my head where, if they would have asked me to leave, I would have packed my box and danced out of there.
The thing is, if the hiring process has taught me anything, it’s that everyone is just trying to exchange what they have for something that sucks marginally less.
Case in point, I got a resume from someone at my old company. I friended this person on LinkedIn. Another friend from a competing company noticed the new friendship and said, hey, are you hiring that person? Because I was thinking about applying for their old job.
I’m talking, this all happened in a 20-minute time span.
I keep telling my friend who IS hot to trot to exit, look, stay where you are. I promise, you don’t want these jobs you see posted in the industry. Your job is degrading and demeaning, but don’t jump into something that isn’t a reasonable step up, OK?
And yesterday — after I told everybody please don’t schedule a new launch till I can commit to finishing the launch materials, they scheduled a launch date and yet everyone’s displeased that I can’t deliver the materials without personal hardship — I didn’t even have a yam fit. I envisioned driving out of there, picking up the cat and the mom, and going to the Keys.
And last night, despite being depleted and tired after a Full Day of Managing the Unmanageable, I did get 75% of the way through one of my two deliverables.
That’s what they count on. I hate rewarding it. I attempted to delegate this project three weeks ago to three different people and the only one willing to take it, I was told to never give that person projects again because that person wasn’t “mine.”
Again, it’s not hard. Nothing is hard for me. I guess they’ve “gotten” the concept of asking a busy person to get something done. Because I do … it’s just that I feel the complaints rising more quickly and frequently in the back of my throat, and I’m getting less adept at muzzling them.
Anyway, as I drove home in the pitch dark after being the first arrival at the office in the a.m., I wasn’t sure whether I’d go back. Then I met this girl and realized she’d probably kill for the same opportunity.
And let’s face it, if the money I make can go toward doing some good in the world, just a few dollars at a time, well, that’s what makes it worth it. It has to.