Welcome back, old friend
The muse is back. It’s a sequel to her previous visit. This one, though, is edited to protect the innocent. 🙂
Version of myself
I’ve changed so much
Since you crashed into my world
And I’d thought I was so
Articulate and thoughtful and sensitive
But I guess I wasn’t
At least, not enough
There’s something about you
That makes me want to be
A better version of myself
Not necessarily a different person
Nor someone whom you would find
Attractive or pleasant to be around
I don’t know
I guess I have watched you
For some time now
And you continually
Have this effect on me
I mean, I’ve always said
Exactly what’s on my mind
At the exact moment it occurs to me
And I’ve never really edited or censored
The slightest syllable
That has fallen from my lips
But you’re so sensitive
So observant, attentive and
So sweet
That I’d rather bleed myself dry
Than ever cause a moment of hurt
Or confusion
Or discomfort
In your life
You’ve seen enough of that already
And I still say whatever I want
But I take so much more time
More care
More pause
With my words and thoughts
Have you noticed the difference
Or have you always known
This better person resides within me
Somewhere
I’ve noticed
In dialoging with you
That I mentally stop myself
Before I say something
That could be misconstrued
And revise how I say it
(Sometimes, I revise it after
The wrong words have fallen
From my lips
And still you listen to me openly)
Because I’d rather my voice
Be something you want to hear
Again
When we’re apart
And lately
You’ve told me how you enjoy
Our time together
Our chats
Our laughter
And the feeling is mutual
But how do I say this
Without editing out too much
The sentiment behind it
How do I say that
Not only do I like
Talking so intensely as we have
But that I’ve come to depend on it
More than any breath of oxygen
I could ever inhale
That I not only adore you
But also the person I become
When we’re in touch
Sometimes I feel
We’ve gone as far as we could
And there’s always been that line
That we’ve sworn not to cross
(Although, let’s face it, it’s been blurred
For quite awhile now)
You’ve been my hero
On so many occasions
And I’d like to be the same for you
In a different environment
A deeper one
A more personal one
Maybe on the other side of that surface
That we’re so conscious of
I’m tired of being so aware
That there are certain things
We should never say
Never feel
Never dream about
But the only ones placing those restrictions
On us
Are us
So what if
I told you all of this
How much I admire you
How much I’ve come to adore you
How much better a version of myself
That I have become
With your unknowing influence
And how much better I could be
With a simple touch
To accompany the smiles
The laughter
The incredible times
We seem to have
And seem to have in store
For a long time to come
If only we let it happen
Because this version of me
Fits so well with you.